Friend VS Mom: Ways to be Both

A woman’s role within the family is generally seen as maintaining order within the household. Often women can be seen as the backbone of the family; she is the care giver of the children, the housekeeper, the bookkeeper, and the financial supporter. Being a mom isn’t easy. You love your children and you want them to share their lives with you, but also know that you have to set boundaries and limitations that may cause frustration and tears.  Is it possible to be both mother and friend?

The Crisis Center provides guidelines to ensure that the balance between being a mother and a friend is kept at a healthy point.

1. Set aside time each week to do something fun together. Maybe you choose to take a bike ride together or you hit the mall for a shopping spree.  Whatever it is, time is sacred – you can ask her about her week, how school is going, what she sees in her future. She’ll know that you care intimately about the details of her life.  Click here for some examples of activities you can do with your daughter which will enhance your relationship.

2. Use logic: Children are not so stupid – They don’t like  being yelled at, grounded or disciplined, especially if they don’t think the punishment fits the crime. If you can learn to discipline with logical reason and care, she’ll develop a great respect for your decision and your bond will continue to grow.  This is not an easy concept but one that you can learn.

3. Learn to let go: As your child  enters let adolescence, your relationship will begin to change. She’ll need to develop independence, and you’ll need to allow her to strike out on her own.  This doesn’t mean you’re not needed, though; a grown child who feels loved by, but not babied by, her mother is more likely to turn to her for advice and support. Son’t be afraid to let go little by little; chances are it will afford you the opportunity to develop an adult-like friendship when she is grown.

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